are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
