Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize