It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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