You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize