she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
