I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
