You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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