After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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