Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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