belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
