Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
