So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize