I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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