if i can run in heels then i can drive
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
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