I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
