I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
