Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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