I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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