The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
