HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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