Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
