he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
