we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
