Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
