So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
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