Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
