so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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