he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
