I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
