We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
