you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
