My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
