it wasn't lemon gatorade
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
