Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
