i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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