I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
