I'm jealous of your bromance
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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