South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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