D3 body, D1 cock
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Randomize
