I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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