I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
