Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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