Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
