You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
