Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
