Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Me. At least after what I've been through.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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