I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
