I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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