its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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