Screwed.edu
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
