So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
