so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
