My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
