I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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