I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
